Goodbye

I woke up early today. Looked around my room and saw my suitcases. I realized where I was and when I was; the end of my year. I lay there just stunned. I didn't know what to do.

Goodbyes are hard, don't know what else to tell you. I went around today numb, feeling just empty. I acted like I would see my friends just tomorrow, but no, I'm not going to. I have refrained from crying at all. I don't want to. I want to be happy before I leave, bring all these memories back with me. I can't help but feel upset about it though. I'm a bit terrified to leave, what I will go back to will be familiar, but not at the same time. I don't know how it will be like. Back to my hometown, I remember my life there before I came, and now, I have even forgotten where I came from, being here in India so long. So much change, so much time has passed. So, what will it be like. I feel this sort of epic beat in my heart, excitement and even anxiety. What will I do when I go back? What will my life be like then? I am just going to be spending my time on the plane just thinking about what to do... this has been the most emotional ride of my life.

What a year. Year of my life. Incredible India. Really is something. When I arrive, I am going to run into my mother's arms and grandmother's arms and hug and pick up my brother. It's just the definition of bittersweet...